Music:  Send Me An Angel
Color:   Bisque

No idea what Bisque is either . . . but that's what the notepad told me . . so okay now then . . let's write.

Next topic . .
First things first . . . . please stop saying we don't care . . because you know that isn't true . . just because we aren't there doesn't mean we don't care . . . . it isn't like you ask us to be with you anyway . . we're not going to think anything negative of you if you talk you know . . or if you ask a favor or whatever . . . . I really don't get it . . I don't want to cry anymore . . this is just something nobody needs.  Just try to put those things aside . . and focus . .

Next topic . .
Second . . . .  I don't know what I'm going to do . . how am I goin to have a party?  Where will it be at?  What will we do after?  These are some of the things I have to think about.

Next topic . .
Third . . .  you have no idea how much I miss you . . all this time I've been waiting and waiting . . too scared to call . . not knowing what to do . . . . I wished and I hoped . . and I prayed things were alright with you.  I wish I could tell you how I feel . . after you disappeared from my life things just started to go bad . . I thought my life was amazingly going well . . but apparently it wouldn't last . . I'd like to say that I need you . . . . but I'm not sure how things will go after . . things are going a lot better now . . it was a difficult two months in ROP . . but I hid it from peoples view as best as I could so people won't know how hurt I am . . how sad I am . . how I'm barely trying to continue on living this life . . clinging to my dreams . . lying down listening to music . . . . I wasn't able to get back on the internet for a while . . I talked to my friends . . . . try to vent a little . . people who actually give a damn about what I'm going through . . I really thought I'd never see you (online) again . . but I always hoped for the day to come if it ever will . . and that day is today.  And I just want to say . . thank you for being my friend . . . . I don't wish to go on living life alone . . . at least now I'll have someone to talk to whenever I'm truely alone.

Back to topic 1 . .
I still have to finish my homework . . figure out if you'll let me hang out with you . . I don't care if nothing is said . . can deal with that later and things will be fine . . don't worry . . I just wish there was a way to stop your hurting . .

Last topic . . . .
I just want to take this time to say while I'm still here that I don't know what I would have done if I never opened up and decided to give the whole friend thing another try.  Friends is something people shouldn't take granted of . . you never know when you'll need one . . to cry on . . to get help when your in trouble . . to be with just for fun when your alone.  I didn't think it was possible to have those kinds of friends at first . . I thought it was all on TV.  Even if you haven't had much luck with friends . . don't give up, keep on lookin . . you'll eventually find someone (or others) that will be more than happy to be friends.  Sometimes we can't get the things we want in life . . thats fine . . we live life, things aren't always fair or go the way we'd want it.  It's best to just move on into the future and not to dwell in the past (on all the bad times) and to keep on moving, to find the opportunity . . the moment to grab on to and get carried away by the flow . . that is what keeps me going . . and I hope you'll keep that in mind . . living life will always equal to hardship . . or some depression or stress like what Ellen Degeneres said.  The joy of life . . it's short . . try to be happy . . that's what I'm doing these last two months and will continue into the future for so long as I live and that there are people who care about me.